Surrender - a word that evokes many thoughts and feelings based on our world views and experiences. It wasn’t something with which I was comfortable for many reasons. But the Father in heaven wanted to step in and redefine this word and through it, my entire life.
I have loved Jesus all my life. Raised in and by the church, I watched faith being lived out in many ways, from bake sales and potlucks, serving and enjoying life, to life-threatening illness, procedures and many, many funerals. Through this, I learned a lot, a lot about doing. While there is nothing wrong with doing, in fact it is absolutely essential to the Christian life, it isn’t the place to begin. Something inside me was missing. And all the doing the right things couldn’t mine it out of me. For that I needed something big, or rather Someone. I needed a Holy Spirit surgical procedure, to bring about radical change and good in my life.
In my college days and early adulthood I heard many people talk about having a quiet time with the Lord. Mind you, I had read my Bible and prayed basically every day since I was 11, but I wanted and, quite frankly, needed more. In this season, I came across a Scripture on the bulletin at the church in which I’d grown up. It struck a chord deep within me, and I began praying a slightly modified version of it fervently:
Teach me Your ways, O LORD, that I would walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart that I would fear your name alone (Psalm 86:11.)
Hear me as I write this: Be careful of that for which you pray. God is listening, and He will answer. :-)
He began putting things in my path that would lead me closer and closer to Him. I took a book from my grandmother’s library after her passing, one that sat on my shelf for a year and a half. Then one day, it caught my eye, and I devoured it. It’s a little book with a mighty message, Listening Prayer. The author recounted the very things that I was missing and wanted in my time with God. I wanted to hear His voice and experience Him, and that is exactly what happened.
He had my full attention. He began to teach me, discipline me to spend time with Him and release so much of His wisdom that it was almost overwhelming. It wasn’t easy. I had started a company only the year before, and there were significant amounts of work to do. However, He required 4 hours from me before releasing me to start my day. I had purposed in my heart that I was going to be obedient to whatever He told me to do, so I did this, sometimes with reluctance. And in doing so, it set me on a course that remains to this day. He showed me that when I give up my agenda for His, He will show up and do incredible things, one of which is what my siblings and I call “multiplying the time.” Tasks and projects that would take hours or days to complete, would be finished in a short time frame. He proved that when I set aside time for Him, He will move and do things that I could never do on my own. In addition He also healed me physically and emotionally; He made me whole.
God stepped into my life in the most personal way and showed me that in His kingdom, surrender is a thing of beauty, and with it comes discovery, identity, intimacy, power, and ultimately, freedom to be who He created us to be. In this freedom we get to live the life and dreams that He planned for us before the foundations of the world were laid. It’s wonderful to feel comfortable in your own skin, to know who you are, to belong, to be the beloved daughter of a good Father who thinks I’m the best thing ever and tells me so every day. When we begin from this point, belonging to Him and the family, we get to be who we are. And when we are fully ourselves, resting in Him and the identity He has given us as beloved sons and daughters, we get to step out and do the things that He put in our heart to do. Surrender is the key to knowing Him and ourselves, and it opens the door to life abundant.